BABY, BABY, BABY

I have always been somewhat of an attention seeker.  I enjoy being noticed, or praised for things I do well. People who know me the best know this about me and point it out if they can.

The other day I was on my way to the store, my mom wanted me to drop Edy off with her.  I thought I had politely avoided telling her that I didn't want her to watch Edy, that I wanted Edy with me.   In my mind I justified my actions by telling myself that Edy is a BABY that was too young to stay with her Grandma, no matter how capable that Grandma was.  My mom, knowing me better than I know myself was quick to point out that it wasn't her that was the problem, it was me.

"You just want to show her off at the store.  Get the attention!  I know you!"
I thought, no that's not it, feeling a bit put out at the thought that I could be so vain, wait...is that it?  Much to my dismay, I knew deep down, well maybe not so deep down that she was right.

I took Edy to the store with me!!

It's true.  I love hearing and seeing other people ooh and ahh over the beautiful little person that we created.

She's so cute
Really beautiful
How old?
Your such a natural mom

These comments are like winning the gold medal at the Olympics to me.

The thing is when people say this to me...they aren't "just saying" it.  They really mean it. She is really beautiful, cute, calm and I am a natural mom.  Well at least I think so!

She is so stinkin' cute.  I have been around plenty of babies and none so amazing as my BABY!  So cute that you can't get angry with her.  People are thinking angry with an infant, how could you be angry with an infant.  But believe me I wanted to be angry with her the other day, when attempting to have an intimate moment, she starts crying...UGH!  Almost 8 weeks of no real intimate moments and she has to start crying now, WHAT THE HELL.  I walk over to her with full intention of being angry, look down at her and ... MELT!  She's just cooing and ahhing looking up at me relieved that someone came to save her.

Being a natural mom isn't easy, it brings a lot of pressure with it.  Does "being a natural" mean that I also have to be good at it...do I have to be a "professional" mom in the future.  It's not like a "natural basketball player" who becomes a professional then tears his ACL in his 5th season and has to go on injured reserve...there is no injured reserve in mothering.  I may be natural at it now but do people expect me to keep this up?  I am exhausted!

Taking care of a BABY isn't that hard...looking like it is easy for you, is hard.  I have been studying up on how to be a "natural mom" since I was about 14, when I started babysitting.  My mom has a friend who has 6 kids, I started sitting for her when her 3rd child was 1.5 years old, this was when my education began.  I learned by watching other moms and grandmas how to act and how not to act around very young children.  I am an observer by nature and took every little lesson in, knowing that someday in the future I would be the mom and would want to do it RIGHT!

I think I have the baby thing down!  I am more sure of this every time someone tells me.  "Wow your so natural with her", or "this must be your second, your so calm."  

Next lesson for me is toddlers and children.  I have been getting some good schooling on what to do and not to do from having taught preschool-1st grade age children the last 10 years, now I am just waiting for the practice.  No rush though, I am having fun being Edy's mom at the age she is at right now! I need some more time before I can be a natural mom for a 3 year old!!  Good thing I have 3 years!