So far being a mom has been the greatest thing I have ever done in my life. I cannot imagine my life had Edy not been born. Motherhood agrees with me and is everything I thought it would be and more.
When I got pregnant, my life changed. No more drinking wine at family dinners, the acid reflux nightly, the growing stomach. But for the most part while I was pregnant, we did pretty much everything the same. If someone invited us to dinner, we went without hesitation. A hike up the pass was no big thing, waddle into the car and go. Rambunctious, barking dogs didn't faze us.
Then our little bundle of joy arrived. Edy Elizabeth has forced us to change our lives.
Now she is an easy baby and I thank Whomever every day that she is! We can usually pack her up in the car or stroller and she settles down quickly and has fun on the ride. But...
things are different.
There is no more jumping in the car and going. Something that used to take 5-10 minutes tops, now is a whole production. Feed the baby, change her, make sure diaper bag is stocked, appropriate clothing is on. Do we have the hat? Will we need bug protections? Wipes where are the damn wipes? She needs to be changed again. She peed on her clothes, outfit change. Into the car seat. Where is the f*#$*ing pacifier? Dogs on leashes, do we have what we need? Probably not but who cares she is starting to cry let's just get out of here!!
30 minutes, well realistically 45 we are finally in the car and off. Once we have made it to our destination Edy is either asleep or happy and we go on our merry way.
I used to enjoy a nice happy hour with my mom and friends, get a glass of wine, sit in the evening sun in some Aspen eatery. But this summer, I don't think I have done this once. My mom called tonight I could tell she was with people, I asked where she was: "Oh having a glass of wine with Karen". In past years I would have been with them, or jumped up and said "where are you? I'll be there in a minute". Today after the tiny twinge on jealousy past. I realized I would much rather be here at home playing with Edy. Could I take her with me? Yes, but is that fair to her, not really. We have established a wonderful bedtime routine, I really didn't want to mess with it and so I told mom to have a great time and I would see her later!
Other things have changed as well...most importantly the way I feel. I love Edy so much that it actually hurts when I am away from her. I was away from her for about 2 hours the other day and I felt like I had a body part missing. My heart ached for her. When we were finally reunited, I just hugged her. With the return to work looming over my head, I am becoming more aware on a daily basis how difficult this separation will be. I know she'll be fine but I am not so sure how I will do. Thinking of it brings me to tears.
So my life as it was a year ago is gone, but it is so much better now! Thank you little Edy for changing my life!
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