6 months

Edy is 6 months today.  The time has just flown by.
This may sound funny, but sometimes I can't believe she is mine.  I was walking in the grocery store the other day with her in the Baby Bjorn on my chest.  People were smiling at her and admiring her making comments on her cuteness.  I thought to myself, gosh I feel like an impostor.  Is it true is she all mine.  I sometimes feel like I am just the baby sister of this beautiful, perfect little being and that I will have to give her back to some family later.  I just simply cannot believe that after at least 10 years of hoping and wishing, that I would have a baby, that she is finally here and she is all mine!!!

Being a mom and really family is all I have ever wanted, but I still find myself shocked that it actually has happened.  I feel so lucky to have a healthy baby and boyfriend, to be healthy myself and to have so much love in my life.  It is amazing that only 6 months ago Rock and I were just 2 people who loved each other and lived in together and now we are a family.  I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure it isn't a dream!

The family!

a funny little bunny on Halloween!

We went to the Dr. Today she is growing just right, tall and skinny as she has always been.  Meeting all the milestones at the correct rate.  The Dr. says she is just perfect, he may say that to all the new moms, but in my case I think he really means it.  

I find myself so much happier these days.  Nothing can get me down for very long.  When I find myself getting sad or depressed all I have to do is think about my little girl and a big smile comes across my face.  

I was thinking on my drive to work about when we were in the hospital 6 months ago, sitting on the labor bed with our midwife, my parents, my sister and Rock at my side-literally he was my Rock that night!  I had this vision as I was driving to school of the midwife telling me what was happening and that I needed to push and as painful as it was it was also so enjoyable.  I loved the thought that I was bringing new life into this world.  The pain was excruciating and blissful at the same time.  

Ever since Edy arrived people have been asking me "when are you having another?" "Will Edy have a brother or Sister some day?". I have said "maybe, I don't know, Some day...far from now".  But this morning thinking of the day that Edy was born and that Excruciating Blissfulness made me think that I would love to do it again.

I know it isn't realistic to have another child now, but I do think that someday I would love to go through all of this again.  Right now though, I am so excited for the next 6 months of Edy's life, I think we are in for a wild ride as her changes are just going to happen faster and faster.